by Ira Rubin
The hostess, nationally syndicated Hollywood reporter, Myra Klotchman, welcomed the audience to her weekly television show, “Do You Want To Hear A Secret?,” in which ordinary people reveal startling secrets about their lives in return for a weekday meal at a local Chinese take-out. The first guest was Amanda Lamar – not her true name – a 22-year-old woman studying to be a professional beauty consultant, vulgarly called a hairdresser, from Hackensack, New Jersey.
After exchanging small talk with Amanda, Myra cut to the chase.
Myra: Tell us, dear, what secret could a sweet young woman like you possibly have?
Amanda: Oh it’s horrible, Myra. I may never recover from the embarrassment.
Myra: About something you did?
Amanda: No, it was my fiancé, Jerome. How could he do this to me?
Myra: Oh my God; don’t tell us you found him with another woman?
Amanda: No, Myra, he didn’t cheat on me with a woman.
Myra: (gasping): You mean it was with a man?
Amanda: No he didn’t cheat on me with anyone. It would have been less humiliating if he had. I walked in unexpectedly on him last week and I couldn’t believe what I saw: he was admiring himself in the mirror dressed in my new wedding gown.
Myra: That bastard; how shocking that must have been for you.
Amanda: Absolutely; I hadn’t even tried it on yet, and now I just can’t.
Myra: Because you’re too embarrassed?
Amanda: No, because it’s stretched out of shape. And that’s not the worst part. I can live with his cross-dressing. What I can’t accept is he looked better in the gown than I did.
Myra: Poor dear; that truly is a problem. How will you cope?
Amanda: What choice do I have? It’s too late to find a new gown. Tomorrow I’m going to shop for a tuxedo I can wear at the wedding.
Myra: How inspiring! Audience, give this courageous woman a hand for facing up to and overcoming her potentially crushing secret. And now a word from our sponsor, Fantasy Vacations, the perfect place to design your ideal getaway or honeymoon.
Ira Rubin has been a member of LP2 for the past four years during which he was a continuing participant in the writing class study group which provided valuable feedback on a draft of this piece.